I dont think causing drama is a solution. I went thru a similar thing. We had planned to have a baby and when I told him iwas pregnant he just disowned me. He said the baby wasnt his. He actually had someone else on the side. I went thru hell but I promised myself that I will love my baby with all my heart. Though I was pregnant I dressed to kill and he felt guilty. Now he is taking care of his little one. Drama doesnt work with all men. I think its best she should talk to him once, tell him that he should atleast take care of the baby and if he refuses start planning on raising her child alone. She should make sure the child is healthy and goes to a good school. It gets to men. If he never goes back to her,its okay. God sees all and it will all come back to him and babies are blessings.

situations like these are the reason we need the affiliation act back

your friend may ahve no legal recourse unless the father acknowledgees paternity of the child and agrees to give his support.

she should however prepare herself to raise the child without his support, which may well happen if he has already decided to marry someone else. if this is the case, she could try and make his life more uncomfortable - not to keep the child a secret and let it be known by all, even his future wife!

The necessary procedures should be followed and the ones responsible should get down and admit what they did, because i understand is outside legal marriage. Should the man seem to evade his part of the responsiblity, a legal battle would not be much to ask (provided DNA backs up the case). If the girl feels this as much of a task, she should be strong and put the man to shame by ensuring the God's gift growing in her will get the best in life (this calls for sacrifice) and this man should feel ashamed when the child is fully provided for. Mtoto si wako ni wa watu wote - and he/she won't sleep hungry etc ... - a saying in my village. He/She will get all he need provided you/her as the mother provides the much needed love and connection.

My girlfriend gave birth and the man refused to fulfil his part - today the girlchild is in a private school, she tops her class you will see her in the media reciting, singing and winning medal after another. The man can't get his face up.The drama should be professional not anything i would really advocate.

No time for sympathy or pity, it is time to carry a healthy baby and live her life to the fullest.

Katuki Annah

Even if he chooses to marry someone else he must cater for her pre-natal, delivery and post-natal charges. Also he must provide for the child until the child has completed university.

I agree with Myra. The baby should not be a secret.

Carol,

Been thinking about this since you posted it and i asked myself, if it were to happen to me, what would i do? for sure i know am not the drama type but i would ensure that the lady in my baby dad's life knows that am carrying his baby. what i know is if a man does not want responsibilities, he does not change much in future!

the next step for me would be to have it clear in my mind that i've be played and am on my own? it will be up to me to ensure the survival and comfort of my baby. clearly it is up to me to ensure my baby is fine.

i empatize with your friend and this is the time she needs friends like you the most. you need to be there for her to just laught and cry together, to speak and enjoy silence together and to just be sisters.

myra