I  am having lunch with a friend and she expresses her concern or echoing the sentimentsa made by a dermatologist in a local radio station who was expressing her concerns on how  cosmetics companies  are making big money in selling products that are used for lightening peoples  skins. The products contain hydroquinine and mercury which have detrimental effects on the skin of the individual.of course this is not a new issue in kenya walkingaround different corners you will see women who have changed their complexions. My question is why do they go to such extents and my reaction ismost of the time it mixture of pity and finding them miserable.

l decided to stop being judgemental and look at the bigger picture. Most of these women have been facing deragotary remarks about there looks from avery tender age they have dealt with immeasurable issues especially in a society where a woman is first valued for her looks then all the rest come after where her achievements in school,her skills eg leadership are not of any paramounce like her looks and demeanor. Its not amazing to find women going to great lengths to change how they look to fit credetials of the society.

Having been a Victim of low self esteem for  along time l atleast speak from experience of the shattering effects in all spheres of life from education, social life .Nothing makes the individual feel good about themselves they feel they have to go the extara mile to always prove themselves. they simply cant stand themselves .

Indeed with how things were going l had to examine myself and ask really who am l .With time l came to learn and respect that l am a dark african child beautiful indeed and l will not let anyone put me  down. l use Gods serentiy to accept things l cannot change and to change things l can and to know the difference.One has to learn to LOVE themselves regardless of the visible and obvious short comings.

Self love is important ,when you love yourself there extents that one will not go one will care what stake they have in different situations that they find themselves this is not to be confused with self absoption.Many women endure different froms of violence eg physical and psychological abuse because they feel they are inadequate that because they are not beautiful if they leave know one will love them again. Their partners know this  fact and will use it at there advantage to drain down the woman completely.

Its a journey indeed that each day we examine ourselves accept ourselves ,be able to forgive ourselves and love ourselves uncondtionally only then can we be productive people in the society. The journey starts when the girl is young till when she is laid down in her grave she has to learn to love herself before she can be loved or love others.self love gives her needed confidence to take up challenges and advocate for her place in society without being afraid.

DO YOU LOVE WHO YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR?