It is now often said that Polygamy is somewhat something of the past. I have heard many say " I cannot let my self be married as a second wife and if my hubby marries another woman I will leave him!" Long ago marriage to a second third and even forth wife was not that big of a deal. Today as I see it polygamous families are faced with law suites, public humiliation, dis-ownment but to mention a few of the common family fueds. Despite all this we still find many young women cohabiting with or married as second and third wives where they have no power and no freedom of their own.

I spend my morning in the traffic listening to Maina on my way to work. Today the discussion was around the how women have lost value. One of the listeners had called in complaining that he does not see the significance of his wife. He said how the house help cooks, cleans and welcomes him when he gets home. In addition she is the one who takes care of the children. So the question posed was that what is the value of the woman in that case.

It is easy to push for things to happen than to try and figure out why they are not happening. Push for this by way of persuasion, if it fails then embarrassment and disdain is employed. Failure of these then the use of force and constant reminder that things have not happened the way they ought is the last resort. There is nothing new under the sun. That is true. When women think they are emancipated that they can live their lives free of societal pressure to meet certain standard, the thinking is just a dream and a sort of chimera.

This is a paper on masculinities and the involvement of men in the gender discourse written by Beverlyne Ongaro

 “Can’t the whole world hear this?”

That is a question that I often ponder on in the process of my work among different communities. There is so much happening, yet the world doest seem to know what is happening as it never gets into the main world news.

Last, week we got into a discussion with a friend of mine. He was of the opinion that the fight for women’s rights has neglected the boys and in fact boys and men are more in need of these interventions. The discussion was interrupted hence we didn’t come to some conclusion but not before I mentioned that I believe women all over the world have so much in common and hence ‘we will never be free until all women are free’.

My friends and acquaintances all know that when there is a mention of women, gender, girls….my heart palpitate even more. Some have asked ask, why are you interested so much on women’s rights? Sometimes I just don’t have an answer, I just know, it can not be otherwise in anyway!!  So why is my heart so there? Was I born a feminist or I just grew up to be one? And who is a feminist anyway? This is one term that women have really shied away from due to the negative connotation despite the fact that they are feminists to the core!